Nobody's Victim by Carrie Goldberg
Do you ever read a book and think, "I wish I could meet this person in real life?" Because I just read the most insightful nonfiction book, Nobody's Victim, where that was my immediate reaction. This is someone I have come to highly respect, when a month ago I didn't even know her name.
Carrie Goldberg is a lawyer, and before you boo (completely legit reaction to that profession), let me share a little more about her and her book. You might find you don't mind that she's a lawyer after you hear what I have to say. Her law firm C.A. Goldberg, PLLC is established in Brooklyn, and she owns it to help litigate for those who have become targets for harassment, sexual assault, blackmail - online and offline, and revenge porn. That's right. She's one of the good guys, and she's a herione in more ways than one.
Originally from Aberdeen, Washington, Carrie went to Vassar College and received her Bachelor's degree before heading over to Brooklyn Law School and receiving her Juris Doctor degree. This degree is a graduate-entry professional law degree, one of several, and known as Doctor of Jurisprudence. Before she decided to set up her own law firm, she worked at Vera Institute of Justice as a Director of Legal Services and took on helping victims of the Holocaust as a case manager for SelfHelp.
In fact, the catalyst for taking on her own law firm came when she herself suffered from harassment and online bullying by a former partner. She came to the realization that if she was struggling and going through this issue, what other woman out there were in her same shoes but without her knowledge of the law and how to fight back? Carrie even came up with her own titles and breakdown for these human beings whose life mission it is to destroy other people's lives. From psychos to stalkers, pervs, and trolls, C.A. Goldberg Law stands up for the victims' rights and won't stop until restitution is made.
To say the least, I learned a lot from this book that I hadn't previously realized. Such as, there are actual websites up and running that feature porn. In fact, those sites aren't being taken down but literally have thousands to millions of viewers daily. Through her book Nobody's Victim, I found out that these horrible people will put out "audition calls" in order to lure unsuspecting females (primarily) to sketchy places and video them being sexually abused to put the videos on these websites. I also found out that these sites and the internet as a whole ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.
They're protected by a law that states "No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider" (47 U.S.C. § 230). This basically gives websites the right to wriggle out of any responsibility for what their users post, say, or do on said website. While on one hand, it allows free speech to continue unhindered online, it also allows the host site to not be liable. The discouraging part of this is that people can post inhumane videos, sexual abuse, and other controversial items without reprisal, and the sites where these cruel things are posted exempt themselves from any responsibility and sometimes don't heed their customers complaints to take the material down.
This is where Carrie Goldberg and her team come into play. They're willing to take on the giants of law to help their clients get the help they need. They won't rest until they've done all they can to restore order, peace, and freedom to the lives of those they work with, and it is one of the most profound reads I've ever experienced. Carrie is also a part of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative and was awarded the Privacy Champion Award in 2017 by The Electronic Privacy Information Center.
Her book not only includes the breakdown of the law and how it works for you and against you, but it also shares resources, personal stories with names replaced, and statistics of what's happening in our world today. I have to admit, this is the scariest, eye-opening, horrifying books that I have ever read. It is an atrocity that people are allowed to get away with harming others, and I feel this is a direct link to human trafficking. It all starts, unfortunately, on your computer.
Carrie Goldberg is a lawyer, and before you boo (completely legit reaction to that profession), let me share a little more about her and her book. You might find you don't mind that she's a lawyer after you hear what I have to say. Her law firm C.A. Goldberg, PLLC is established in Brooklyn, and she owns it to help litigate for those who have become targets for harassment, sexual assault, blackmail - online and offline, and revenge porn. That's right. She's one of the good guys, and she's a herione in more ways than one.
Originally from Aberdeen, Washington, Carrie went to Vassar College and received her Bachelor's degree before heading over to Brooklyn Law School and receiving her Juris Doctor degree. This degree is a graduate-entry professional law degree, one of several, and known as Doctor of Jurisprudence. Before she decided to set up her own law firm, she worked at Vera Institute of Justice as a Director of Legal Services and took on helping victims of the Holocaust as a case manager for SelfHelp.
In fact, the catalyst for taking on her own law firm came when she herself suffered from harassment and online bullying by a former partner. She came to the realization that if she was struggling and going through this issue, what other woman out there were in her same shoes but without her knowledge of the law and how to fight back? Carrie even came up with her own titles and breakdown for these human beings whose life mission it is to destroy other people's lives. From psychos to stalkers, pervs, and trolls, C.A. Goldberg Law stands up for the victims' rights and won't stop until restitution is made.
To say the least, I learned a lot from this book that I hadn't previously realized. Such as, there are actual websites up and running that feature porn. In fact, those sites aren't being taken down but literally have thousands to millions of viewers daily. Through her book Nobody's Victim, I found out that these horrible people will put out "audition calls" in order to lure unsuspecting females (primarily) to sketchy places and video them being sexually abused to put the videos on these websites. I also found out that these sites and the internet as a whole ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN.
They're protected by a law that states "No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider" (47 U.S.C. § 230). This basically gives websites the right to wriggle out of any responsibility for what their users post, say, or do on said website. While on one hand, it allows free speech to continue unhindered online, it also allows the host site to not be liable. The discouraging part of this is that people can post inhumane videos, sexual abuse, and other controversial items without reprisal, and the sites where these cruel things are posted exempt themselves from any responsibility and sometimes don't heed their customers complaints to take the material down.
This is where Carrie Goldberg and her team come into play. They're willing to take on the giants of law to help their clients get the help they need. They won't rest until they've done all they can to restore order, peace, and freedom to the lives of those they work with, and it is one of the most profound reads I've ever experienced. Carrie is also a part of the Cyber Civil Rights Initiative and was awarded the Privacy Champion Award in 2017 by The Electronic Privacy Information Center.
Her book not only includes the breakdown of the law and how it works for you and against you, but it also shares resources, personal stories with names replaced, and statistics of what's happening in our world today. I have to admit, this is the scariest, eye-opening, horrifying books that I have ever read. It is an atrocity that people are allowed to get away with harming others, and I feel this is a direct link to human trafficking. It all starts, unfortunately, on your computer.
The knowledge that out of 230 reported rape cases "only forty-six lead to an arrest" (pg 84) was a depressing number to read. However, there were more disheartening numbers within this informative text. Like how one out of every four teens poled by a Bridgewater State University professor, Elizabeth Englander, were voluntarily sexting between the ages of eleven and seventeen (pg 60). Believe it or not, coercion is a top form of getting teens to do this whether they want to or not.
Or the scary realization that the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence shows that "more than 80% of women stalked by a current or former partner have also been physically assaulted by that same man" (pg 17). The National Center for Victims of Crime likewise reports that "11% of victims have been stalked for five years or more" (pg 17). These statistics are startling and horrifying that in a world where forward thinking is encouraged, we also have these backward creeps out there harassing woman (and other men), and it takes years for them to be put behind bars or some consequence issued. RIDICULOUS.
Perhaps the horrifying numbers of sexual assault in US K-12 schools will have you thinking twice about your student's after school activities or even their daily attendance? Through this book, I found out that between the years 2011-2015, seventeen thousand (yes, you heard that right - 17,000) incidents of peer-to-peer sexual assaults were reported" and that these assaults are being reported "at wealthy suburban schools and under-resourced inner-city schools alike" (pg 76). The numbers indicate that "eight-five percent" of those reported "violations are girls" (77).
What happens to these victims? Well, in a lot of cases shared in Carrie's book, several were made to feel as if the incidents were their fault. The adults in charge violated the student's Title IV and Civil Rights through the Department of Education by blaming the girls, citing that they must have instigated the contact, condemned them for not "fighting more," suspended them, and didn't help them mediate through their classes. What's worse? As if it could get worse, but it does, the victim's fellow students also blame them. They ride the wave of condemnation, cruel jokes, harassment, and more through cyberbullying as well as in-their-face conflict. This often leads these victims to commit suicide.
What kind of society do we live in when this is all considered okay behavior? How can we make it stop?
I think the first step is to be aware. We need to know that online websites as "innocent" as Facebook and Twitter can lead to these types of intimidation and persecution cyberbullying, online dating sites can enable stalking and abuse, answering want help ads can be a bad idea unless you make sure it's from a legit source, and sometimes running into inauthentic people at the gym can lead you down a nightmare path of terror.
Being aware means of people, your surroundings, the sites you're on, who you like, friend, and follow. This is an important step in keeping yourself safe. It doesn't end there, unfortunately, but it can start there. Funny enough, this leads me to connect what I've read and learned here with another book I read right after it called Red Flags by Wendy L. Patrick, Ph.D. Wendy is also another lawyer, and it gives helpful insight into the data she and her coworkers have collected that alert you to the tell-tale signs of psychos, stalkers, pervs, and trolls. I did a review for it as well, and I hope you check it out when you've finished reading this review.
There wouldn't be enough time for me to go into every portion and breakdown of this book. Let's just say that I found it enlightening, illuminating, and informative. As a result, I want to bring it to your attention. I'm hoping that it will open your eyes to what's happening in our world, the resources available to help combat it, and the support system out there to ensure that you are Nobody's Victim.
Here are the sites you might want to check out if you or a loved one has suffered from online and offline harassment, bullying, blackmail, sexual violence, and more:
(646-666-8908)
(1-800-273-8255)
(1-866-488-7386)
(1-800-799-SAFE or 7233)
(1-646-602-5617)
These website resources and more are given at the end of Carrie Goldberg's book Nobody's Victim. You can find her sites at nobody's-victim.com and cagoldberglaw.com.
I encourage you to read the book, but more than that, I implore you to be aware and help those that need these resources and a common voice to speak up. I will leave you with some words from Carrie's "A Note From The Author" at the back of her book: "There's help if you need it and an army of warriors ready to stand by your side. You matter and you don't have to fight this battle alone. You are nobody's victim" (pg 222).
If interested, here's some other articles on Carrie and her fight against the toxic people her clients fight against:
Numeric Breakdown:
1: didn't like it
2: it was okay
3. liked it
4. really liked it
5. it was amazing
1. Writing Style: 5/5
Carrie's writing style is thoughtful and matter-of-fact. She doesn't water down the information she's about to present to you, and she gives you an urgent and informative delivery through expository text. However, this isn't your typical expository style. Carrie doesn't shy away from letting you know what she thinks about the people who harm others and threaten their way of life. She makes her sentiments very clear about what she thinks through her word choice, tone, and mood.
After all, the information she's giving her readers isn't all rainbows and sunshine in fiction form. Instead, she gives her audience a wealth of information through her descriptions of the clients (names changed for protection), resources used, the narrative disclosed, and the events that take place that led her clients to need help.
Her work is a clear and concise data and experience driven instruction on what is happening in the world and how her team is fighting back. She gives legal resources, step-by-step details on how she helps her clients, and facts about the cases she works. It's a great way to see the inside of what's happening in her law firm, and her continuous struggle to help those who have been victimized.
It's a narrative packed, thought-provoking, story-enhanced, life-changing book that is a must read for anyone who has been been abused. This is also the type of book that many people should be reading just for the informational awareness. Carrie's writing style is direct and easy to read. I love her writing and her willingness to share, support, and promote ways to help those in need.
2. Text Organization: 5/5
Carrie starts with an introduction to herself and her world. It's where the audience learns that she herself has had an abusive bully try to destroy her. She leads us through her own experience that stair-stepped its way to her first client.
The author and lawyer breaks down each chapter based on her client's stories. She gives the relevant facts and details and follows up with how they met this crisis head-on and the resources she used. Carrie gives readers insight to the journey and process, misconceptions, laws that you have to fight through and sometimes against to get any justice, and how it affects her clients on every level.
Her client's stories are interweaved with her own, and it's a chilling world to step into, but one I feel we should be aware of much more than we are. I appreciate her candor, straight-forward talk, and incapacity to beat around the bush. I was totally engaged from the beginning to the end because I became invested in the telling of her clients' stories. I wanted them to have justice, and dare I say it, a happy ending to the alarming and critical ordeal they were going through.
3. Overall Content: 5/5
The content itself is heartbreaking. It's a depressing minefield of events that you would never wish to happen to anyone. Ever. I don't think it's easy at any point to confront these issues and how they affect so many all over the world. Thinking of some of the things I read within this book, I cringe and feel the tears sting my eyes.
Yet, I also feel a sense of satisfaction when I read how Carrie and her team have stepped into the emptiness created by these circumstances. They are there to shine a light on the issues, give a voice to those affected, and fight back in the name of justice.
Carrie reveals that it's not so much the "deranged strangers" that people find on movies who stalk her clients, but it's actually the boyfriends, husbands, partners, and significant others who are doing the damage. In fact, most "often the stalking began well before the couple broke up" (pg 17).
She shares that "in [her] line of work, it's impossible not to be aware of the impact of race on who gets considered an 'innocent victim' and where we place our compassion and concern" (pg 88). In her time helping young girls in high schools, she's seen that "black girls are characterized as hypersexual" and as a result are less likely to be believed when they report a sexual violation. This was seen within. a study and report given by the Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality back in 2017.
The report Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls' Childhood is where they looked at "adults perceptions of black girls between the ages of five and fourteen" (pg 89). The report's data shared that most of the adult who participated saw "black girls as more 'more sexually aware' than their white peers, and also more knowledgeable about 'adult topics'" (pg 89). They also tended to see them as more "'aggressive' and less in need of 'nurturing, comfort and support'" (pg 89). How messed up is this report? How can you ever look at a little child and think they should be able to take care of themselves or are going to be more receptive to inappropriate advances? This revelation angered me, and it angered Carrie Goldberg too.
So, Carrie is not only representing young women who are being sexually abused, but she's ensuring she fights against the stereotypical stigmas that come along with color and culture. She's not backing away from race discrimination as she works their cases, and instead, brings awareness and justice to the doors of those not representing the Title IX and Department of Education Office for Civil Rights code of ethics.
It's hard not to read a book and hear the author share she started to comprehend the "harsh reality that lives are not valued equally" (pg 100) when she worked for SelfHelp assisting the Holocaust survivors. She shares how her time working with these men and women brought clarity into her life and empowered her decision to be a lawyer even more.
Throughout her book, Carrie makes a point of drawing attention to the uncomfortable facts of life that we sometimes overlook or sweep under the rug. She isn't afraid to pull them out, expose them, and give you an honest preview of how they are impacting our world and the people in it. It was a book that made me cry, feel sick to my stomach, and invited me to really see how messed up our world has become. To be honest, I'm thankful for the understanding I didn't previously possess. Even if it makes me want to climb under a rock again. These things shouldn't be happening. At all. Ever.
I'm convinced that when you read this book and the experiences these survivors faced, you will say the same thing. These events should have never happened. How can we change what's happening in the world around us? You can start by being aware and sharing your knowledge. Start by reading this book.
4. Evaluation/Analysis of What I've Learned: 5/5
I can't say that I was overly thrilled by what I learned from this book. There were a lot of things I wasn't aware of that I wish I never had to learn. Such is life. Even though it would be nice to climb under that naive rock again at times, it is never a good idea to ignore what you've learned.
Overall, this information that Carrie Goldberg shared based on her own experiences and those of her clients is beyond valuable. It shares with those who have been harassed, abused, neglected, overlooked, and blamed that it isn't their fault, and no one should have the right to do those things to them without ramifications. It also shows that there are brave women willing to step up and help others in need. This book gives one a sense of purpose as well as the knowledge that they aren't alone.
Carrie's message that you are "nobody's victim" is powerful, motivating, and true. You don't have to allow your perpetrator to get away with what they have done to you. There are many survivors and supporters willing to stand up beside you and say, "This isn't right!" Which based on her chapters, the attention given to her stories and the information shared, her resources, and her bada** support of victims everywhere, I definitely give this book a 5/5 total rating!
I hope when you read this book, even if you haven't been a victim yourself, you still gain a new appreciation for those fighting these horrific battles. I hope you will see that we're all human and need each other to rise above and triumph over these evil beings and their evil deeds. I hope you see that being aware might help save you time and money in the future, but most importantly, it might just help save your life.
If you're looking for another book to help you find out more information about how to spot psychos, stalkers, trolls, and pervs, check out my second book blog review on Red Flags by Wendy Patrick. She gives some great insight on how to be aware of these personality types. Again, being aware and sharing your knowledge can be a great power.
1: didn't like it
2: it was okay
3. liked it
4. really liked it
5. it was amazing
1. Writing Style: 5/5
Carrie's writing style is thoughtful and matter-of-fact. She doesn't water down the information she's about to present to you, and she gives you an urgent and informative delivery through expository text. However, this isn't your typical expository style. Carrie doesn't shy away from letting you know what she thinks about the people who harm others and threaten their way of life. She makes her sentiments very clear about what she thinks through her word choice, tone, and mood.
After all, the information she's giving her readers isn't all rainbows and sunshine in fiction form. Instead, she gives her audience a wealth of information through her descriptions of the clients (names changed for protection), resources used, the narrative disclosed, and the events that take place that led her clients to need help.
Her work is a clear and concise data and experience driven instruction on what is happening in the world and how her team is fighting back. She gives legal resources, step-by-step details on how she helps her clients, and facts about the cases she works. It's a great way to see the inside of what's happening in her law firm, and her continuous struggle to help those who have been victimized.
It's a narrative packed, thought-provoking, story-enhanced, life-changing book that is a must read for anyone who has been been abused. This is also the type of book that many people should be reading just for the informational awareness. Carrie's writing style is direct and easy to read. I love her writing and her willingness to share, support, and promote ways to help those in need.
2. Text Organization: 5/5
Carrie starts with an introduction to herself and her world. It's where the audience learns that she herself has had an abusive bully try to destroy her. She leads us through her own experience that stair-stepped its way to her first client.
The author and lawyer breaks down each chapter based on her client's stories. She gives the relevant facts and details and follows up with how they met this crisis head-on and the resources she used. Carrie gives readers insight to the journey and process, misconceptions, laws that you have to fight through and sometimes against to get any justice, and how it affects her clients on every level.
Her client's stories are interweaved with her own, and it's a chilling world to step into, but one I feel we should be aware of much more than we are. I appreciate her candor, straight-forward talk, and incapacity to beat around the bush. I was totally engaged from the beginning to the end because I became invested in the telling of her clients' stories. I wanted them to have justice, and dare I say it, a happy ending to the alarming and critical ordeal they were going through.
3. Overall Content: 5/5
The content itself is heartbreaking. It's a depressing minefield of events that you would never wish to happen to anyone. Ever. I don't think it's easy at any point to confront these issues and how they affect so many all over the world. Thinking of some of the things I read within this book, I cringe and feel the tears sting my eyes.
Yet, I also feel a sense of satisfaction when I read how Carrie and her team have stepped into the emptiness created by these circumstances. They are there to shine a light on the issues, give a voice to those affected, and fight back in the name of justice.
Carrie reveals that it's not so much the "deranged strangers" that people find on movies who stalk her clients, but it's actually the boyfriends, husbands, partners, and significant others who are doing the damage. In fact, most "often the stalking began well before the couple broke up" (pg 17).
She shares that "in [her] line of work, it's impossible not to be aware of the impact of race on who gets considered an 'innocent victim' and where we place our compassion and concern" (pg 88). In her time helping young girls in high schools, she's seen that "black girls are characterized as hypersexual" and as a result are less likely to be believed when they report a sexual violation. This was seen within. a study and report given by the Georgetown Law Center on Poverty and Inequality back in 2017.
The report Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls' Childhood is where they looked at "adults perceptions of black girls between the ages of five and fourteen" (pg 89). The report's data shared that most of the adult who participated saw "black girls as more 'more sexually aware' than their white peers, and also more knowledgeable about 'adult topics'" (pg 89). They also tended to see them as more "'aggressive' and less in need of 'nurturing, comfort and support'" (pg 89). How messed up is this report? How can you ever look at a little child and think they should be able to take care of themselves or are going to be more receptive to inappropriate advances? This revelation angered me, and it angered Carrie Goldberg too.
So, Carrie is not only representing young women who are being sexually abused, but she's ensuring she fights against the stereotypical stigmas that come along with color and culture. She's not backing away from race discrimination as she works their cases, and instead, brings awareness and justice to the doors of those not representing the Title IX and Department of Education Office for Civil Rights code of ethics.
It's hard not to read a book and hear the author share she started to comprehend the "harsh reality that lives are not valued equally" (pg 100) when she worked for SelfHelp assisting the Holocaust survivors. She shares how her time working with these men and women brought clarity into her life and empowered her decision to be a lawyer even more.
Throughout her book, Carrie makes a point of drawing attention to the uncomfortable facts of life that we sometimes overlook or sweep under the rug. She isn't afraid to pull them out, expose them, and give you an honest preview of how they are impacting our world and the people in it. It was a book that made me cry, feel sick to my stomach, and invited me to really see how messed up our world has become. To be honest, I'm thankful for the understanding I didn't previously possess. Even if it makes me want to climb under a rock again. These things shouldn't be happening. At all. Ever.
I'm convinced that when you read this book and the experiences these survivors faced, you will say the same thing. These events should have never happened. How can we change what's happening in the world around us? You can start by being aware and sharing your knowledge. Start by reading this book.
4. Evaluation/Analysis of What I've Learned: 5/5
I can't say that I was overly thrilled by what I learned from this book. There were a lot of things I wasn't aware of that I wish I never had to learn. Such is life. Even though it would be nice to climb under that naive rock again at times, it is never a good idea to ignore what you've learned.
Overall, this information that Carrie Goldberg shared based on her own experiences and those of her clients is beyond valuable. It shares with those who have been harassed, abused, neglected, overlooked, and blamed that it isn't their fault, and no one should have the right to do those things to them without ramifications. It also shows that there are brave women willing to step up and help others in need. This book gives one a sense of purpose as well as the knowledge that they aren't alone.
Carrie's message that you are "nobody's victim" is powerful, motivating, and true. You don't have to allow your perpetrator to get away with what they have done to you. There are many survivors and supporters willing to stand up beside you and say, "This isn't right!" Which based on her chapters, the attention given to her stories and the information shared, her resources, and her bada** support of victims everywhere, I definitely give this book a 5/5 total rating!
I hope when you read this book, even if you haven't been a victim yourself, you still gain a new appreciation for those fighting these horrific battles. I hope you will see that we're all human and need each other to rise above and triumph over these evil beings and their evil deeds. I hope you see that being aware might help save you time and money in the future, but most importantly, it might just help save your life.
If you're looking for another book to help you find out more information about how to spot psychos, stalkers, trolls, and pervs, check out my second book blog review on Red Flags by Wendy Patrick. She gives some great insight on how to be aware of these personality types. Again, being aware and sharing your knowledge can be a great power.
Thanks for joining me, and as always, Happy Reading!
~Rebecca Reddell
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