Daring Greatly by Brené Brown -- Review
As some of you may know, I've already given a review and breakdown of Brené Brown's book The Gifts of Imperfection. Loving this book, I wanted to read and learn more from her. She is a self-help guru that I have come to respect and find some of her sayings and insights becoming a part of my mental routine. So, I got into Daring Greatly, and I have to say, it scared me a bit.
Daring Greatly starts off with a profound quote by President Theodore Roosevelt. His speech where this quote comes from was given at the Sorbonne in Paris, France. On April 23, 1910, he delivered his "Citizenship in a Republic Speech," and as author Brené Brown shares with us, it is sometimes referred to as "The Man in the Arena" speech.
I'm going to quote the same portion of this famous speech that Brown quotes on the very first page of her book as she shares what it means to "dare greatly" because it essentially sets us up for the whole book's purpose.
Here is the actual speech given by President Roosevelt via audio recording on the phonograph and shared through Youtube. Here is, also, a clip of it for those of you who would like to hear it directly from Brené Brown herself; I'm also including a clip from one of her keynote speeches. Now, her speech will include other portions of her work with dealing in vulnerability research. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I don't know about any of you, dear readers, but when I read this quote, I tear up. In fact, I may have ugly cried when I first read it. Let's be honest, this quote strikes a chord so deep inside of me I can feel its echo. These words mean something to me because I have felt their negative effects. Those days where I feel I'm in the arena, giving it all I've got, and trying so very hard to stay upright when others want to beat me down, and how much it hurts.
There might be some of you who are nodding at this statement. There might be some of you who are tearing up at this quote. There might be some of you who know what it's like to go out on a limb and risk exposure, only to be told you aren't good enough.
Hearing, "you are not good enough" can come in so many different forms and from so many different people, and it sucks. They don't really know you. They don't know your trials and tribulations. They don't know the blood, sweat, and tears you've invested into getting from where you were to where you are now. They don't know of your struggles, insecurities, fears, and shattered dreams. They don't know your inner soul. They don't know anything about you, and still, they want to take one speck of one minute of one day and pass judgement.
As Stephanie on Full House would say, "How rude!"
So, immediately, what I got from this quote and from this whole book is "I'm allowed to think I'm enough." I'm allowed to feel enough. I'm allowed to stand in the middle of my own battle and tell myself, "You've fought the good fight. You will finish your course. AND you will go onto victory, if God permits." (Weirdly, this is also my senior class scripture from 2 Timothy 4:7-8 KJV and Hebrews 6:3 KJV.)
The relief I felt in the moment of this revelation can't be understated. It was as if God was speaking to me and saying, "I got you," complete with a nod of his head and a wink of his eye. For me, that's what I pictured, and that's what got me through the rest of the book and all the way to this point in my life.
Let me say this, It isn't without its struggles, failures, and disappointments. This attempt to be in the arena and do what needs to be done. Some days, I feel as if I'm fighting against myself and the whole world, and I know I'm not winning. Trying to live up to being the person you really want to be is a hard endeavor. It isn't pretty. You won't escape on the other side looking like you won the Miss America Beauty Pageant. I don't know about you, but a lot of days, I feel like the pre-version of Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality.
So, I come back to this book. I come back to the lessons I'm learning from Brené Brown, and I find myself stirring up the courage that is there inside of me, waiting to come out. One day at a time, I open that door of possibilities and hopes and dreams. I reflect on what I've learned, what I still need to do, how far I've come, and how far I still need to go. I'm willing to do this because I have an ardent desire to keep moving forward and improving and challenging myself beyond what limitations other people put on me as well as the limitations I have put on myself.
So, let's dive into this scary world of "daring greatly." Let's come together and see what Brown is trying to share with us and what we can learn about becoming our "Wholehearted" selves. I'm ready to share what I've learned and what I think about this book. I hope you'll stay with me.😉
Numeric Breakdown:
1: didn't like it
2: it was okay
3. liked it
4. really liked it
5. it was amazing
1. Writing Style: 5/5
Author, speaker, and world-shaker Brené Brown is blunt. Her writing style is pure, honest, and in-your-face. She isn't going to go easy on you with her research, client cases, and personal examples when digging deep into how to dare greatly and dive into the weary world of vulnerability. I love her sharing nature and the way she opens up to give you the bare and uncomfortable facts of what it means to risk being seen. She has a voice that echoes my inner one, and it's effortless to follow that voice.
I love how she speaks her mind. Her fluent, easy-to-read, and even easier-to-understand breakdown of what vulnerability really is, why we avoid it, and how we turn it against others is eye-opening and terrifying. Being vulnerable, by Brown's definition, is that we are not being weak, but that we are "dar[ing] to show up and let ourselves be seen" (pg 2).
2. Text Organization: 5/5
Daring Greatly's format is straightforward and gives you examples to combat the situations that we face as individuals and as a society. The breakdown of the chapters is easy to follow. The author starts off by sharing what "daring greatly" means to her and gives us a glimpse into her own arena.
How does the research she'd worked on and developed affect her own life?
She answers that quite honestly and plainly right in the introduction before she jumps into the context of what the research shares in terms of those she's interviewed. The seven chapters build off of each other and give new information while still adhering to her main message: being a "Wholehearted" human being and allowing yourself to fight off shame, judgment, and blame.
3. Overall Content: 5/5
This book is hard to put down because it speaks truth, and as excruciating as it is to get into a topic such as vulnerability, it is a necessary evil, especially in today's world. A world where everyone has an opinion, whether it is solicited or not. A world where being cruel is somehow acceptable, praised, and even encouraged on social media. A world where we are so easily tempted into being offended and giving offense.
This easy to digest self-help book is in more ways than one a blessing to the reader. You are forced to confront who you are as well as who those of your family, friends, and total strangers are. You develop an understanding and even empathy of what might be happening in the world around you, and although, you aren't going to change it overnight or maybe at all, you can still make a difference in your own life.
Basically, this book, and Author Brené Brown, gives you a feeling of hope wrapped in words.
In this book, she breaks down:
1) What drives our fear of being vulnerable?
2) How are we protecting ourselves from being vulnerable?
3) What price are we paying when we shut down and disengage?
4) How do we own and engage with vulnerability so we can start transforming the way we live, love, parent, and lead? (pg 2-3)
Some of the portions of the book that spoke the most to me or meant the most to me were her analysis of "the shield" of "perfectionism" in Chapter 4. Her discussion and findings that we are often motivated by this path which does not create in us a desire to "strive for excellence" or even for "healthy achievement and growth" but is termed a "defensive move" where we are really seeking "approval" was kind of a slap in the face (pgs 128-129).
This is something that I struggle a lot with, and I never saw it in that light. I always focused on it being about my need to be better, have self-improvement, grow, be successful, and more importantly be seen as valuable. However, when I read Brown's dissection of the strategy as not a way where "our gifts and our sense of purpose" are utilized, but instead, where we are faced with a life where perfectionism doesn't lead or contribute, I was disappointed (pg 128). To go on, she defines perfectionism as the "twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen" (pg 129).
Yikes! Yet, her definition and insight doesn't stop there. It goes on when she shares four essential bullet points on page 130 about what "perfectionism" is really about and how it's addictive qualities lead to a "self-destructive belief system." This belief system just allows us to think, "If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame" (pg 130).
Ouch. However, this isn't the only shield we use. According to Brown, we also use numbing or forbidding joy as ways to get through our lives, stress, and the feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. It's a never-ending hamster wheel we put ourselves on in order to just get through the day.
Brené Brown doesn't just give us the bad news though. She also gives us the good news. In short, she shares ways to combat and understand shame, and two of those ways are to practice gratitude and appreciate the beauty in the cracks (pg 123, 131, 220). Although I'm not going to examine each of these topics in my review at this time, I will let you know that they are powerful reminders of how life can have hope and meaning. She shows us ways that we can "engage with the world from a place of worthiness" and " embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections" (pg 218).
This author delves into how we can feel these struggles through our work life, personal life, and parenting life. Yet, she gives readers the knowledge that there is liberation, and essentially, we are not alone.
4. Evaluation/Analysis of What I've Learned: 5/5
To be honest, I need to reread this book. At the end, I felt as if I understood everything Brené Brown was explaining to me. However, as soon as I put it down, I realized that there were so many things I hadn't retained or soaked up in my understanding of how to let go of scarcity, perfectionism, and become a more informed, vulnerable, "Wholehearted" person. There's a lot of information in here, and the content is deep. You can't go through it once and expect to learn everything and not need a short replay here and there.
Also, I feel as if this is something I really want to understand and apply, and if that's the case, I need to dig deeper and make it a part of my life on a daily basis. To do that, I need to reread the information and take time to apply each step.
Learning to let go of "being enough" and the idea of scarcity, in whatever form it most haunts you, is not a decision you can make one day and have done by the next. There's a lot of mental interest going into rooting out the underlying issue, seeing the issue for what it really means, and then making a plan to redirect that issue toward a more positive and self-sustaining path. You can't do it overnight. You can't do it within one quick read.
Brown gives us an open challenge. It's a difficult challenge to maneuver, and it won't be something you can own at a snap. It's going to take an investment of your time, energy, and willingness to take risks.
Daring Greatly isn't about sitting on the sidelines and allowing the world to pass you by, and it isn't about hearing the message and forgetting it. This book is meant to be read and reread and understood and applied. I think my greatest challenge will be to take what I'm learning and implement it. I appreciated Brown's sincerity, her personal journey, and the insight she gained through her research and shares. Here are the makings of a great personal reward, but you have to be willing to put in the work.
5. Overall Rating: 5/5
Overall, this self-help book contained some startling insights and thought-processes that I hadn't considered before, and those things kept me interested to find out more. Brené Brown's voice also held my attention. I like her style of jumping right in and sharing with the reader who she is, what she's about, and how her information is going to help you.
You might be skeptical of how this book will be beneficial to you, and that's okay. However, I encourage you to give it a try and be willing to hear what she has to say. Her work will surprise you and might even tempt you to say, "That's not right" or "That's not me." It's okay.
However, if you want to make real changes in your life and if you want to strive forward and challenge yourself, then this is the book to read, and this is the author who will help you do it. Giving a book a final rating is always hard, but when I think of the lessons I've learned reading this book and how much I hope I can implement it in my own life, I have to say it's a little easier. The content, research, shared-experiences, organization, and overall meaning this book has added to my life is indescribable. That's why it certainly will be rated a 5/5.
I encourage you, Reader, to give this book a try. Give Brené Brown a try. I think you might like what you end up learning, and I hope it will benefit you as much as it has benefited me.
Daring Greatly starts off with a profound quote by President Theodore Roosevelt. His speech where this quote comes from was given at the Sorbonne in Paris, France. On April 23, 1910, he delivered his "Citizenship in a Republic Speech," and as author Brené Brown shares with us, it is sometimes referred to as "The Man in the Arena" speech.
"'It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better.
The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again,
because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause;
who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly....'" (pg 1)
Here is the actual speech given by President Roosevelt via audio recording on the phonograph and shared through Youtube. Here is, also, a clip of it for those of you who would like to hear it directly from Brené Brown herself; I'm also including a clip from one of her keynote speeches. Now, her speech will include other portions of her work with dealing in vulnerability research. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
I don't know about any of you, dear readers, but when I read this quote, I tear up. In fact, I may have ugly cried when I first read it. Let's be honest, this quote strikes a chord so deep inside of me I can feel its echo. These words mean something to me because I have felt their negative effects. Those days where I feel I'm in the arena, giving it all I've got, and trying so very hard to stay upright when others want to beat me down, and how much it hurts.
There might be some of you who are nodding at this statement. There might be some of you who are tearing up at this quote. There might be some of you who know what it's like to go out on a limb and risk exposure, only to be told you aren't good enough.
Hearing, "you are not good enough" can come in so many different forms and from so many different people, and it sucks. They don't really know you. They don't know your trials and tribulations. They don't know the blood, sweat, and tears you've invested into getting from where you were to where you are now. They don't know of your struggles, insecurities, fears, and shattered dreams. They don't know your inner soul. They don't know anything about you, and still, they want to take one speck of one minute of one day and pass judgement.
As Stephanie on Full House would say, "How rude!"
So, immediately, what I got from this quote and from this whole book is "I'm allowed to think I'm enough." I'm allowed to feel enough. I'm allowed to stand in the middle of my own battle and tell myself, "You've fought the good fight. You will finish your course. AND you will go onto victory, if God permits." (Weirdly, this is also my senior class scripture from 2 Timothy 4:7-8 KJV and Hebrews 6:3 KJV.)
The relief I felt in the moment of this revelation can't be understated. It was as if God was speaking to me and saying, "I got you," complete with a nod of his head and a wink of his eye. For me, that's what I pictured, and that's what got me through the rest of the book and all the way to this point in my life.
Let me say this, It isn't without its struggles, failures, and disappointments. This attempt to be in the arena and do what needs to be done. Some days, I feel as if I'm fighting against myself and the whole world, and I know I'm not winning. Trying to live up to being the person you really want to be is a hard endeavor. It isn't pretty. You won't escape on the other side looking like you won the Miss America Beauty Pageant. I don't know about you, but a lot of days, I feel like the pre-version of Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality.
So, I come back to this book. I come back to the lessons I'm learning from Brené Brown, and I find myself stirring up the courage that is there inside of me, waiting to come out. One day at a time, I open that door of possibilities and hopes and dreams. I reflect on what I've learned, what I still need to do, how far I've come, and how far I still need to go. I'm willing to do this because I have an ardent desire to keep moving forward and improving and challenging myself beyond what limitations other people put on me as well as the limitations I have put on myself.
So, let's dive into this scary world of "daring greatly." Let's come together and see what Brown is trying to share with us and what we can learn about becoming our "Wholehearted" selves. I'm ready to share what I've learned and what I think about this book. I hope you'll stay with me.😉
1: didn't like it
2: it was okay
3. liked it
4. really liked it
5. it was amazing
1. Writing Style: 5/5
Author, speaker, and world-shaker Brené Brown is blunt. Her writing style is pure, honest, and in-your-face. She isn't going to go easy on you with her research, client cases, and personal examples when digging deep into how to dare greatly and dive into the weary world of vulnerability. I love her sharing nature and the way she opens up to give you the bare and uncomfortable facts of what it means to risk being seen. She has a voice that echoes my inner one, and it's effortless to follow that voice.
I love how she speaks her mind. Her fluent, easy-to-read, and even easier-to-understand breakdown of what vulnerability really is, why we avoid it, and how we turn it against others is eye-opening and terrifying. Being vulnerable, by Brown's definition, is that we are not being weak, but that we are "dar[ing] to show up and let ourselves be seen" (pg 2).
2. Text Organization: 5/5
Daring Greatly's format is straightforward and gives you examples to combat the situations that we face as individuals and as a society. The breakdown of the chapters is easy to follow. The author starts off by sharing what "daring greatly" means to her and gives us a glimpse into her own arena.
How does the research she'd worked on and developed affect her own life?
She answers that quite honestly and plainly right in the introduction before she jumps into the context of what the research shares in terms of those she's interviewed. The seven chapters build off of each other and give new information while still adhering to her main message: being a "Wholehearted" human being and allowing yourself to fight off shame, judgment, and blame.
3. Overall Content: 5/5
This book is hard to put down because it speaks truth, and as excruciating as it is to get into a topic such as vulnerability, it is a necessary evil, especially in today's world. A world where everyone has an opinion, whether it is solicited or not. A world where being cruel is somehow acceptable, praised, and even encouraged on social media. A world where we are so easily tempted into being offended and giving offense.
This easy to digest self-help book is in more ways than one a blessing to the reader. You are forced to confront who you are as well as who those of your family, friends, and total strangers are. You develop an understanding and even empathy of what might be happening in the world around you, and although, you aren't going to change it overnight or maybe at all, you can still make a difference in your own life.
Basically, this book, and Author Brené Brown, gives you a feeling of hope wrapped in words.
In this book, she breaks down:
1) What drives our fear of being vulnerable?
2) How are we protecting ourselves from being vulnerable?
3) What price are we paying when we shut down and disengage?
4) How do we own and engage with vulnerability so we can start transforming the way we live, love, parent, and lead? (pg 2-3)
Some of the portions of the book that spoke the most to me or meant the most to me were her analysis of "the shield" of "perfectionism" in Chapter 4. Her discussion and findings that we are often motivated by this path which does not create in us a desire to "strive for excellence" or even for "healthy achievement and growth" but is termed a "defensive move" where we are really seeking "approval" was kind of a slap in the face (pgs 128-129).
This is something that I struggle a lot with, and I never saw it in that light. I always focused on it being about my need to be better, have self-improvement, grow, be successful, and more importantly be seen as valuable. However, when I read Brown's dissection of the strategy as not a way where "our gifts and our sense of purpose" are utilized, but instead, where we are faced with a life where perfectionism doesn't lead or contribute, I was disappointed (pg 128). To go on, she defines perfectionism as the "twenty-ton shield that we lug around, thinking it will protect us, when in fact it's the thing that's really preventing us from being seen" (pg 129).
Yikes! Yet, her definition and insight doesn't stop there. It goes on when she shares four essential bullet points on page 130 about what "perfectionism" is really about and how it's addictive qualities lead to a "self-destructive belief system." This belief system just allows us to think, "If I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame" (pg 130).
Ouch. However, this isn't the only shield we use. According to Brown, we also use numbing or forbidding joy as ways to get through our lives, stress, and the feelings of shame, judgment, and blame. It's a never-ending hamster wheel we put ourselves on in order to just get through the day.
Brené Brown doesn't just give us the bad news though. She also gives us the good news. In short, she shares ways to combat and understand shame, and two of those ways are to practice gratitude and appreciate the beauty in the cracks (pg 123, 131, 220). Although I'm not going to examine each of these topics in my review at this time, I will let you know that they are powerful reminders of how life can have hope and meaning. She shows us ways that we can "engage with the world from a place of worthiness" and " embrace our vulnerabilities and imperfections" (pg 218).
This author delves into how we can feel these struggles through our work life, personal life, and parenting life. Yet, she gives readers the knowledge that there is liberation, and essentially, we are not alone.
4. Evaluation/Analysis of What I've Learned: 5/5
To be honest, I need to reread this book. At the end, I felt as if I understood everything Brené Brown was explaining to me. However, as soon as I put it down, I realized that there were so many things I hadn't retained or soaked up in my understanding of how to let go of scarcity, perfectionism, and become a more informed, vulnerable, "Wholehearted" person. There's a lot of information in here, and the content is deep. You can't go through it once and expect to learn everything and not need a short replay here and there.
Also, I feel as if this is something I really want to understand and apply, and if that's the case, I need to dig deeper and make it a part of my life on a daily basis. To do that, I need to reread the information and take time to apply each step.
Learning to let go of "being enough" and the idea of scarcity, in whatever form it most haunts you, is not a decision you can make one day and have done by the next. There's a lot of mental interest going into rooting out the underlying issue, seeing the issue for what it really means, and then making a plan to redirect that issue toward a more positive and self-sustaining path. You can't do it overnight. You can't do it within one quick read.
Brown gives us an open challenge. It's a difficult challenge to maneuver, and it won't be something you can own at a snap. It's going to take an investment of your time, energy, and willingness to take risks.
Daring Greatly isn't about sitting on the sidelines and allowing the world to pass you by, and it isn't about hearing the message and forgetting it. This book is meant to be read and reread and understood and applied. I think my greatest challenge will be to take what I'm learning and implement it. I appreciated Brown's sincerity, her personal journey, and the insight she gained through her research and shares. Here are the makings of a great personal reward, but you have to be willing to put in the work.
5. Overall Rating: 5/5
Overall, this self-help book contained some startling insights and thought-processes that I hadn't considered before, and those things kept me interested to find out more. Brené Brown's voice also held my attention. I like her style of jumping right in and sharing with the reader who she is, what she's about, and how her information is going to help you.
You might be skeptical of how this book will be beneficial to you, and that's okay. However, I encourage you to give it a try and be willing to hear what she has to say. Her work will surprise you and might even tempt you to say, "That's not right" or "That's not me." It's okay.
However, if you want to make real changes in your life and if you want to strive forward and challenge yourself, then this is the book to read, and this is the author who will help you do it. Giving a book a final rating is always hard, but when I think of the lessons I've learned reading this book and how much I hope I can implement it in my own life, I have to say it's a little easier. The content, research, shared-experiences, organization, and overall meaning this book has added to my life is indescribable. That's why it certainly will be rated a 5/5.
I encourage you, Reader, to give this book a try. Give Brené Brown a try. I think you might like what you end up learning, and I hope it will benefit you as much as it has benefited me.
Further Resources:
Until next time, as always, thanks for joining me, and Happy Reading!!
~Rebecca Reddell
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